A recent study showed - without a doubt to the medical world - that abstinence education does work in help teens delaying sexual activity. But the advice doesn’t stop there. More studies are needed that will include a broad comprehensive approach, as we cannot put all our eggs in one basket, so to speak!
It amazes me how the very important, sensitive topic of sexuality - one that has enormous implications on our children’s future health - is treated with such taboo and controversy. When it comes to the health of our children, we should be willing to look at all the possibilities and put forth the effort that it takes to give them the best chance possible for a safer journey into adulthood.
T
he first concept that is clearly being challenged at this time is the notion that all the responsibility lies in our school systems. Over and over it has been proven that children, including tweens and teens, still crave their parents’ opinions and involvement. As parents we may not see the benefits of our efforts right away, in fact, we may even experience the cold shoulder, the moody pre-teen, or the sullen teenager. But they ARE listening, so take heart. Start early and discuss these important topics with your children often. Don’t “talk” to them – but converse with them. Engage them in a dialogue, be flexible,
and educate yourself to speak to your child based on their age and the information that they need at that time. It will pay off in huge benefits as they grow into responsible adults. Some basic guidelines include:
- Have a family mission statement that you can mentally refer back to when talking with your children about this topic. Include your values and family morals and put together a 2 to 3 sentence statement about your core beliefs regarding sexuality.
- Use correct words/names when talking about sexuality. Although children will learn the slang words for body parts and other sexual terminology, review the correct words with the same respect you would any other topic.
- Learn what children at different ages need to know. The younger the child, less information is needed, but don’t confuse this not providing accurate information. Avoid perpetuating myths to “protect” their ignorance – I mean innocence!
By playing an active role early on in your child’s education as it relates to sexuality, they will feel more open about coming to you to discuss these topics and other situations affecting their lives in the future.
Let’s not forget to have healthy chats with our children,
Dr. Chrystal de Freitas
