The s
chool year is in full swing and your child is adjusting to once again being in that unique social environment.
It's always important to strike a balance between involving yourself in your child's life and allowing them room to develop a sense of independence. Socializing at school can be the first time they form a consistent identity outside of your family, and his or her social comfort becomes increasingly important to their sense of self.
Recently, there has been much news about bullying in schools and online and it is always a concern for parents. Knowing not only how to identify if your child is being bullied, but helping them deal with an active bully is of utmost importance for the health of their social life and self esteem.
For the younger child, bullying takes many forms -- from unkind words, mean spirited isolation from other friends and activities to full blown physical injury. Bullying online is a relevant topic for parents of older children, to be addressed in a future newsletter.
The guidelines addressing the question below can serve as a foundation for parents of younger, elementary school-age children.
How would you know if your young child is being bullied?
1) Be involved in your child’s school life. Car pooling and volunteering for school events always gives the parent a bird’s eye view of the interactions between the children.
2) Get to know your child’s friends. Know your their names, what they like, and who their parents are. Who is your child’s best friend, and more importantly, why?
3) Make contact with your child’s teachers. Make it a routine to touch base with your child’s teachers regularly. Don’t wait for the official “parent-teacher” quarterly conference, make contact during drop off and pick up times or at school events.
4) Ask your child. Talk to your child not only about his/her day, but about how other children treat them. For example a question like, “how are you getting along with the kids in your class?” can lead to a revealing conversation about how your child sees themselves in the social environment of the classroom or playground. Listening to your child regularly will establish you as someone they can talk to. Be aware of your child's typical mood before and after the school day.
5) This may seem obvious, but of course, all physical injury needs to be thoroughly account for: by the child, the teacher, and should be brought to the attention of school authorities.
Bullying can range in severity and obviously the degree of intervention depends on this. Here are some guidelines for those minor situations that present in everyday life:
chool year is in full swing and your child is adjusting to once again being in that unique social environment.It's always important to strike a balance between involving yourself in your child's life and allowing them room to develop a sense of independence. Socializing at school can be the first time they form a consistent identity outside of your family, and his or her social comfort becomes increasingly important to their sense of self.
Recently, there has been much news about bullying in schools and online and it is always a concern for parents. Knowing not only how to identify if your child is being bullied, but helping them deal with an active bully is of utmost importance for the health of their social life and self esteem.
For the younger child, bullying takes many forms -- from unkind words, mean spirited isolation from other friends and activities to full blown physical injury. Bullying online is a relevant topic for parents of older children, to be addressed in a future newsletter.
The guidelines addressing the question below can serve as a foundation for parents of younger, elementary school-age children.
How would you know if your young child is being bullied?
1) Be involved in your child’s school life. Car pooling and volunteering for school events always gives the parent a bird’s eye view of the interactions between the children.
2) Get to know your child’s friends. Know your their names, what they like, and who their parents are. Who is your child’s best friend, and more importantly, why?
3) Make contact with your child’s teachers. Make it a routine to touch base with your child’s teachers regularly. Don’t wait for the official “parent-teacher” quarterly conference, make contact during drop off and pick up times or at school events.
4) Ask your child. Talk to your child not only about his/her day, but about how other children treat them. For example a question like, “how are you getting along with the kids in your class?” can lead to a revealing conversation about how your child sees themselves in the social environment of the classroom or playground. Listening to your child regularly will establish you as someone they can talk to. Be aware of your child's typical mood before and after the school day.
5) This may seem obvious, but of course, all physical injury needs to be thoroughly account for: by the child, the teacher, and should be brought to the attention of school authorities.
Bullying can range in severity and obviously the degree of intervention depends on this. Here are some guidelines for those minor situations that present in everyday life:
- Avoid the urge to step in and come to your child’s defense. It is best to give them the tools to deal with the bully independently (see below). This will help them build critical communication skills for the future.
- Give them support, boost their self esteem, listen to them, ask how it makes them feel when they're bullied and how it specifically happens.
- Correct any false attitudes being presented to your child - name calling and insults can be harmful if not dismissed as nonsense and replaced with positive talk.
- Plan a strategy together about the best course of action - whether it's to say something to the bully directly, ignore the bully completely, or get a teacher involved if it happens again.
- Above all, your child needs to know that they can come to you whenever the situation gets uncomfortable and that you are on their side.
Learning how to deal with the bully is a life skill so let us work with our children and give them the tools to stand up for themselves!
Wishing you healthy chats with your children,
Dr. Chrystal de Freitas
