Your Child’s Strengths

Many of you know that I teach a seminar for mothers and daughters about puberty, menstruation, birth and conception. Before I start each seminar I ask each mother to introduce her daughter (often to the girl's embarrassment!) by describing her in a single word. This simple task can be truly revealing, and what I’m actually after in asking this is to find out what the daughter’s strongest trait is in her mother’s eyes. Regardless of your child’s age, take a moment to complete this exercise: what word would you use to describe your child?

Pediatric literature tells us that as early as age three, a child’s dominant personality traits are beginning to show. Simply being aware of your child’s favorite activities and behavioral patterns can provide some insight into what your child’s strengths may be. For example:

• The rambunctious toddler who is a daredevil now may later in life be the athlete.
• The melodramatic preschooler who cries at the minor mishap may later on become an amazing actress who is able to express emotions in a unique way.
• The child who would rather draw and color may be a future artist.
• The one who loves to read and can’t get enough books may be the writer, the producer or the editor of the local newscast.

Now, not all the strengths are appealing or as clear cut as the above examples. Here are others:

• Kids who argue and are contrarians about everything make us wish for a more receptive child. Yet, these youngsters are great debaters, lawyers and later in life go on to serve great causes.
• The teen that only wants to play music and bang on the drums in lieu of math may be giving us a clear tune of what his or her future may be.

As parents, we all want our children to find activities that they can excel at and enjoy. Before the typical onslaught of extra-curricular activities begins, encourage your child in the activities they are naturally drawn to and happiest doing. Don’t be afraid to discover what your child is attracted to, and let them guide you. It will pay off in the long run.

Wishing you healthy chats with your children,

Dr. Chrystal de Freitas